New Mare with Trust Issues

by Madelein Scheun
(South Africa)

Hi,

3 weeks ago my husband bought me a 5year old mare, she had an Arabian mother and Boerperd father, at first we got along nicely, now she doesn't want to leave the yard to go on out rides, she keeps running back to my gelding and other mare, she hurt me a few times, I fear her now, I don't have help or a trainer. Please give me some advice,

Madelein



Hi Madelein,

Three weeks is not a very long time for a horse to find comfort in their new environment or get to know their new guardian(s) plus to me a 5 year old is quite young when it comes to physical, mental and emotional growth. So first let's give her some time to adjust because she is looking for safety and comfort in the other horses and not you. Please don't take it personally she just doesn't know you yet.

I look at it this way because I have moved across the country. When I arrived at the new house do I quickly leave the property to go for an outing? Nope, first I need to unpack and organize my stuff, decide where everything goes, see what it looks like from all directions, check out the neighbors, find the toilet paper :0), and set up my bed! In other words I want to feel comfortable in my new home first before I go venturing about.

It's very stressful for people to move and it's even more stressful for horses to move, make new friends and find food!

There feels like there is an assumption that this horse is expected to just do as she's told and trained well? Do you know her history? Either way what's important now is for you to build a trusting relationship with her. I do this mostly with just being with them, grooming, talking and introducing Clicker Training. Spend quality time on the ground without expecting her to take you for an outing and allow her to get used to the rhythm and routines you do.

Separation Anxiety is a common instinctual trait amongst horses, one that we all need to address. If we consider the horse's perspective, we can uncover how to help them best.

I believe that everyone who interacts with horses needs to become a trainer to some degree in order to discover for themselves how to help their horses best. For we all end up having to deal with some kind of unexpected issue(s) since these are live creatures not machines and thus they have good days, bad days and can think and feel.

We can best help them, by helping ourselves to learn more and more every day.

Here’s to your learning journey!

Elaine Polny
Training Horses Naturally